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November 22 Hot hot weekend呢個weekend好熱好熱啊~.~
當我哋Friday仲見住D行雷閃電擔心緊Saturday既picnic plan，神為我哋預備既係一個晴空萬里、太陽猛烈既一日，而我哋既活動都可以順利進行，仲踩咗好耐無踩既單車。晚黑仲有gathering，30幾度我哋竟然打邊爐，話就話度時一路開冷氣一路食，其實真係打既時候無開度，因爲D風都夠涼，仲可以睇度烟花添。唔使講都知今次會係齊人既最後一次，sad and disappointed :(
訓咗6個鐘頭就番教會，又見度我D組員，我哋最後一次齊人既小組。今日既敬拜有D唔一樣，我個心都有D唔一樣，唔想咁介意但係原來我真係會……
好耐無同妳傾偈，發生好多事，雖然唔係發生喺我哋身上，但係我哋都真係會好擔心身邊既人。無論事態進展如何，我哋都唯有祈禱。人真係好脆弱，好容易受打擊，而每個人既受壓程度又咁唔同，我唸我哋至少可以陪住佢過呢段囉，俾度佢support；只要雙方當事人既選擇唔盲目，對自己同其他人負責，系出于善意，就無可指責。愛情，本來就無對與錯，愛情都應該得到祝福；都唸唔度我哋係果件事上竟然係企喺同一陣綫，哈哈，爛人，我以爲只有我睇度係咁認爲，但係當我哋去分享大家見度既行爲，妳都原來好認同；又或者佢做曬形式上既野，但係原來feel唔度個心就真係feel唔度，果個explanation其實我又真係無唸過，不過下半年令我好心淡同小小嬲囉，不知不覺間我D言語同行爲都有D做得出咗，一件事又係咁，兩件事又係咁，雖然唔係審判大會，不過年終總結真係好有用；多謝妳一句，“雖然你行咗咁耐咁多年都仲未到終點，不過你其實都行咗好多嘎拉，仲差小小……”好希望我哋可以傾通宵，真的會實現嗎？
42度高溫我哋去咗唱K嘆冷氣，多謝你哋俾我開懷大笑，實現咗我個願望。又係一個新既星期既開始，我要撐埋呢個week啊。It's Daddy's bday on the coming Thursday, better make up something coz don't have any ideas at the moment... November 19 勇敢今日系第四日，CFO放oversea holiday已經四日啦，我仲要做一個禮拜既前線救火員。每一日都過得心驚膽跳，creditors突然而來既電話，同大老細既重要會議，仲有當下大大小小既payment同reports，我既10月份既bank rec可能要同11月一齊做啦... =.=
你地一句“唔好甘擔心啦，你答唔度大老細問題好正常啦，因為你唔系CFO啊嘛，你做度你早就系CFO啦”、“甘你咪系acting CFO囉，幾好啊，你度時份CV咪可以用囉”、“做好自己野咪得囉，唔系甘緊要者，老細會明嘎啦”都令我覺得自己既憂慮減輕一半，其實明知“一天的憂慮一天擔當就夠了”但系對于自己來講就系甘難做度。神都關心我地既生活為人嘎，唔系我地做事既成果啊嘛。所以，凡事都有第一次，咪當今次系一個學習既機會囉。都要培養下、習慣下大老細即時要咩就要俾咩既高速，無得拖啊。有咩未見過啊，今次都唔例外，要識得點樣減壓先得既～
呢個禮拜系high school Year 12 school formal既時間，TM為左個仔同個pretty young lady去Centennial Park有個wonderful time，租左limo, most likely a luxury sedan... 足之就玩度第二日凌晨2點幾先番屋企，must be fun la~ 我都會記得自己17歲果年去formal系幾甘excited啦，全部都系鬼妹鬼仔，一齊跳舞一齊影相。雖然已經系好耐以前，不過果一次都真系幾難忘。大學無再參加學生會D ball，不過去Claire屋企開party就唔少。當你系high school玩度無得玩，大學就唔會想再玩，癡狂既大學生生活就甘過一段落，而研究生既生活就更加苦悶，一次夜蒲都無，勁乖。度而家做野啦，我地公司又唔會有christmas dinner既，無乜social機會啦。果日媽咪同我視頻先話我，“咦，你個酒窩越來越大囉喔，越來越飲得酒啦～”我笑，“系啊，一有機會飲酒一定會飲多D者，呵呵～”
呢兩晚屋企個網都上下斷下，琴晚我一時發猛猙將個adapter拆開，散左－－今次真系完全上唔度網啦，點算...... 突然間想起你，連我自己都笑我自己 T.T
大家都興致勃勃既談論林宥嘉既“說謊”，我聽左啦，個MV女主角咪“吐司男之吻”果個Chanel，姊弟feel，我無喊喔，可能因為我系公司上youtube啦。歌詞啊，記得一兩句囉，“我又不脆弱 何況那算什麼傷 反正愛情不就都這樣”，“愛一個人沒愛到難道就會怎麼樣 別說我說謊 人生已經如此的艱難 有些事情就不要拆穿”。
好想去movie and ktv, 抒發抒發自己既情緒@@...
November 11 心神不靈Didn't sleep well these days, moreover I dismiss the alarm this morning, woke up at 7:55, arriving office at 9:10. HL&LR went to Canberra, but TM is already in his office，><...
Something has stuck in my head since last Thursday. unbelievable tricky. Maybe it's the stress from work, you know there's alot of reports need to be done but somehow you just stare at the monitor for hours, 遊魂咁; refreshing the webpage constantly，don't really know what you are doing for; LR will commence his 2-week holiday next week，so scared that I will not be able to handle everything, especially there's so many thing happening at the moment；xmas is about 40 days away, holiday will start soon，it's not good, bcoz i m not going back and will be here for xmas/new year/chinese new year... 假期焦慮癥probably commences a little bit earlier this time... And who knows how long will the PR application take, 1-2 years?! Me just not getting anywhere, dizzy@@...
Randomly received the bbq invitation sms and felt sorry for not being able to make it; glad that your exam went ok though the next minute you are doing your thesis already, haha; don't be upset about the plane crash, at least your exam went ok, that's much more important la; thank God you are fine and still being able to sit in the exams, pray your fever will be gone by Friday and have additional strength during these two weeks; PM at the 101 building sounds cool, pray you will find a church and fellowship to settle down in Taiwan. Don't be frustrated and get in the same trap, there's always something good out there; for you, leaving your "home", if you have a second thought to go back, I will support you. I'm sure you are quite emotional right now, try to go to Sydney's beaches, will definitely make you feel better; finally got a chance to chat about your trip, the wedding news is not surprising me at all, we all getting used to it... Several high school classmates are getting married these two years, October and December this year, March and May next year. Too bad, I will miss them all...
Saw it from someone's blog:
到底，愛上一個人的感覺是什麼？ 我大概已經忘記得一清二楚了。 其實今日唔係特別酸，似乎係我俾網站上呢D氛圍影響咗，我想等，因爲相信我既堅持係值得既。至少我喊既每一滴淚水，神都會記錄系祂既冊上，將來必有大大既賞賜。 November 05 紙婚今天中午吃飯在新浪讀書看到的，中間一段文字很是震撼。
你想過死嗎？還沒長大，因為還年輕，走的路還不夠多，美好的未來還那么模糊，所以你以為短暫的窘境就是永恒。于是，這樣的絕望便讓你想到死亡。
你因而忘記了，活著最大的意義，其實就在于你沒有死去--你還有那么多時間，用你堅定的信念、善良的心、永不放棄的奮斗，給別人一個驚訝的未來。
因為還活著，這一切的一切，便都還來得及。
走過去，前面是個天。 November 01 Fast Foward の一周星期一，攞咗study leave，喺屋企最后衝刺溫CPA。The weather was so miserable, raining cats and dogs, windy and cold. 多謝Iva's督促sms，因爲喺屋企enjoy個break too long, wakaka... Then somone's sms was also received, it didn't reflect from whom though.
星期二，一早起身出門去考CPA，老地方所以都好熟悉。Reading time睇D題目都應該幾容易搵，但係做落又其實都幾花時間唸。不過感恩做完80題MC都仲有10分鐘check下份卷先交，自己感覺考得ok。Thanks everyone who left message on facebook or sms on the exam day, 多謝你哋既打氣同代禱。考完試超攰，番屋企休息，早早上床因爲聽日要出trip。
星期三，5點半要起身6點要搭上火車，6點9喺Edgecliff Station meet up HL&LR，楂車上去Newcastle。果然靚車係貴得有道理，CLK350喺Pacific Hwy飛度120都好穩，一D都唔飄，我仲要坐喺後座都好舒服，無暈車。2個鐘頭左右去度，先去Belmont Spinnakers睇間新屋，looks nice。然後去Charlestown Apollo，終于見度Mel同D staff，喺Reception同Kerrie學咗個system，然後go through D reservations/bookings/night audit reports, paper is everywhere so unorganised. 搞咗小小已經6點，去check-in間房，休息陣7點去restaurant同高層食飯。American eye fillet配New Zealand紅酒，仲有dessert，this is the best from business trip. During dinner, garlic bread切得我好尷尬，俾DR笑我，atmosphere好好，超輕鬆，9點8先离台番房。就咁又一日，what a long day.
星期四，8點早餐，個ham & spinach omellete好好味。終于重頭戲來啦，F&B costing report. You can feel the staff are not willing to talk, not friendly at all as a result of the management replacement decision. It's just too many thing happening at the samt time, I don't think it's a good timing to have such a change. As an accountant, it's my responsibility to analyse the numbers and present a repot for the management to make their strategic decision. 12點幾我哋就番Sydney. 喺McDondon既時候，HL講既story of recruiting secretary真係笑度噴，同埋SL既例子都好有意義。其實好感恩，呢個trip都同HL彼此多咗瞭解，HT發迹既歷史，家庭，property development當中既細節例如mezzanine, builder, insurance etc.
星期五，終于番度公司。Unread emails都download咗7MB，然後D invoices/EFT payments又係一大曡。Oh well, 慢慢catch up啦。
星期六，Fiona & Tommy's big day. 因爲要負責F&B同攞D fruit tart番去教會，11點就番度去。點知原來大家都遲到，跟住預備食物既過程又有小小accident，不過最後都好順利。個wedding簡單而樸素，但係仍然會有感動喺裏邊。兩個人高中拍拖度而家，10年啦，真係唔短，好難得亦相信中間經歷過好多，可以開花結果實在係一件美事。晚黑喺Wofies at The Rocks，好溫馨哋擺咗8圍，Tommy爸爸好高興，Fiona爸爸嫁女既贈言都好難忘，當然仲有good food, fine wine and delicious dessert啦。11點番去，12點番度屋企，1點訓，攰，聽日就知味道。
星期日，身體不適。order咗hot chocolate點知係coffee，好彩有得換過杯。好耐無試過咁多人喺教會食lunch，同弟兄姊妹有講有笑。Something weird going on, is it just me think too much? October 25 Joy of Rainbow已經夜訓嘎拉，1點幾先上床，flatmate仲要5點番來吵醒咗，Yano話我個様勁攰，隻眼超腫。個人已經心情唔好，躁咗，喺對人處事度又做錯咗小小，小組查經又唔專心。
不過唸番尋日同Anita傾偈，同Claire分享，我覺得又有另一番感受。會繼續為妳哋代禱，因爲係我過去呢個禮拜最感恩既事。雖然我第一次同你講我既神，亦知道你而家工作好唔滿足同厭倦，但係你要撐住啊，用D時間去唸下消化下我同你講既“關係”，多謝你問“我可以點様做”呢個問題，我覺得已經係一個好既開始。Claire既細路仔，其實我暫時無喔反而，不過好認同你既A List, it's so true that we actually have done all these: go to cafe alone, go to supermarket and do the groceries alone, travel alone, go shopping alone, and the worst - taking care of ourselves when we are sick. And I will probably challenge your 'go to cinema' alone one day, haha... Maybe this week after my CPA exam, haha...
今日完咗service落大雨，番度屋企訓醒一覺就停咗。聽咗一首好應景既歌，Joy of Rainbow:
Look at the sky when the rain has stopped
I will be dancing on rainbow tops
You'll see me smile as I 'm waving at you
And I'll send my love and wishes too.
Pray for the courage to carry on
Living each day for the will of God
Until that day when I'll hold you again
And we'll dance forever more
October 20 變本加厲Experiencing the old symptoms this week, it's even worse today... Difficult to breath, lethargy, stomache... Luckily I could escape from the office around lunch time and have some fresh air by the bay. And there're primary school kids playing around which the noise made me awake...
October 19 這兩週還記得10月10我哋團契大部分人去咗Canberra一日游，雖然好早起身出發，不過天氣好好。我哋除咗睇花展，仲去咗國會議院同戰爭博物館。喺巴士度都有同屬靈長者傾度呢幾年一直困擾自己の一樣野，雖然講咗唔見得就即刻唔會唔開心，不過贈送我一句“一日既憂慮一日擔當就夠了”要我記住同實踐。其實極力控制自己既情緒，免得有人發現，但係都係俾人發現咗，仲開我玩笑“有心事要同哥哥講啊”讓我會心一笑。望住咁多唔同顔色既鬱金香，實在令我豁然開朗。回程既時候，捱住眼訓傾偈。原來我哋有咁多既相同，Long Distance、同父母既相處、同bf/gf既溝通，唔知道係咪神要你哋咁行，但係都一定會為你哋祈禱。誠然，信心真係一個好難學既功課。
跟住禮拜日大組選舉完分享，其實Iva分享既時候我就知佢會點我。終于，我就忍唔住哋感動不已。話咁快就一年，仲記得上年呢個時候我仲躊躇緊選committee，為呢件事祈禱，神親自預備一份工作俾我令我可以留低事奉，喺呢一年裏邊同full-team既弟兄姊妹一齊事奉互相配搭，學度好多亦喺屬靈上更加努力追求。神可以令我走出自己既框框，主動同新朋友溝通，更加賜俾我一個好朋友而佢亦都决志信主，身邊既弟兄姊妹不斷鼓勵我，其實呢一切都好感恩。傷感既係建立咗既關係無幾耐，就會分開，每年如是，神究竟要鍛煉我幾次，一個，兩個，三個，四個五個？我同Iva prayer partner既時候，佢唔識安慰我，但係其實就好似約伯既三個朋友一樣，喺約伯身體一有病既時候佢哋就已經來度佢身邊陪佢，我覺得果種都係一種安慰。分享完，有Cathy問我仲乜咁感動，Felix亦拍拍我脖頭，Yano既關心，Evan既msn，我覺得我好幸福，呢班弟兄姊妹好好，小朋友每個都好可愛，我身邊有好多既天使。因爲畢竟都要自己去面對，要緊緊抓住神既手去行過，因爲祂會永遠喺度陪我。孤單并唔好受，我哋需要朋友既扶持，更加神應許會永遠與我哋同在，必信實到底。喺靈修同埋同Sophie email既時候都提醒我，感謝神。
過去呢個禮拜我忙緊一份做俾Director既report，忙緊自己PR既lodgement，努力為來緊既CPA考試溫書。每晚都1點幾訓7點半起身，嚴重睡眠不足，食無定時，壓力大之下作嘔咗幾日，終于禮拜四做咗presentation，星期三晚/星期四凌晨遞交申請同上傳咗所有既材料，可以松一口氣。事情總係一樣接住一樣，從無停歇過；精神永遠都緊繃，好惊有一日呢條彈弓會斷，但係又知道唔可以斷，矛盾。
今日Heidi Siu洗禮，戥佢開心，而我自己都had some fun, enjoy Sunday so much with the crowd, laughters and sharings! 去飲茶既時候坐Felix車已經笑爆，然後飲茶既時候又係超好笑，如果每日都係Sunday就好啦！飲完茶之後邊行邊講，好耐無同Cathy行街傾偈，都唔記得上次我哋行Myer喺幾時囉。講既內容就confidential，不過暫且靜觀其變，唔好唸太多啦～
Last but not least, CPA exam is on Tuesday, Oct 27th, less than 10 days to go, fighting!~ 不過IRIS真係好好睇，有金泰熙同李秉憲，仲有TOP
   October 07 Melbourian getaway過去の呢個long weekend我一個人飛咗去隔離省，出咗新南威爾士度咗維多利亞。都好感恩，因爲星期五晚boarding既時候Sydney開始落大雨，機場管制仲話thunderstone所以唔能够起飛，喺飛機上邊等咗半個鍾。去度Melbourne都只係大風，無落過雨，然後星期一晚番來，Sydney仲係落雨娓娓。
星期五晚好順利哋去酒店check-in，間房好的色，不過一出去就有city tram所以好方便。同媽咪報平安既時候Silky sms問我度咗未，後尾打番俾佢，原來佢今日去咗Hunter Valley玩。雖然呢個trip係我6月就plan，但係S仲有幾日就走，所以其實都會miss咗同佢最後喺Sydney既時間><!!!
星期六8點幾就俾電話吵醒，所以9點幾就出咗去食早餐。然後兜下個city，周圍行下。去咗The Ian Potter Centre, ACMI, Fed Square, State Library. 個city好重文化既味道，好多garden，D建築又好有特色，同埋感覺上好似無咁多華人。2點幾約咗Yol食飯，發現真係原來有好多christians讀完大學，出來做野，都會覺得其實自己揀錯科，想穩過第份工。每日番工面對既人，做既routine令度佢哋會麻木，所以其實讀theology或者穩full time ministry真係會適合D。呢個外在既環境不斷變，而我哋既信心亦會不同程度哋受度衝擊。有好多野想靠自己能力去改變，但係究竟係咪HIS way呢？會逐漸對身邊既b&s失去信心，會多咗埋怨同急躁，少咗包容同忍耐。5點幾既時候，經過City Museum,church同garden，都有新人結婚，今日真係好日啦，我唸國慶呢個假期都會好多人揀來結婚。婚姻係如此神聖，但係而傢就有好多人因爲有咗而結婚，因爲年紀夠大就結婚。其實以前盲婚啞嫁都可以work out，咁我係咪可以代入呢個公式呢？每個人表達既方式都好唔同，要穩度一個明白你既真係一D都唔容易。
星期日book咗個The Great Ocean Road and Soverign Hill既day tour，朝早8點喺唐人街出發。去金礦果度有D似曾相識既感覺，可能以前喺NZ都去過類似既，不過物是人非。係啊，以前去玩都唔係一個人既，今次真係有D特別。Try not to think about the old days but it seems impossible. Time flies, it's been 3 years since the last trip. I am asking myself whether I have moved on. What I have been doing these years? Is it really worth it? What if I didn't make that decision, what if everything comes in my way at the right time? Sorry, there's no if... The sky is so blue that my mood is a bit blue as well... Congra Melbourne Storms, champagne is on the way, cheers~
星期一因爲要check-out，所以拖住疲憊既身軀早早起身pack野，然後寄存D袋就出去轉。Melbounre向來天氣都會好miserable，不過呢幾日都好好天，當然穩度就真係低幾度。我搭Shuttle轉咗一圈，去咗NGV International, Arts Centre, Melbourne University. 同Michelle自從04年喺Christchurch畢業禮之後差唔多5年唔見，大家都無點變，變既只係身份。She just got married, her husband is an artist and working in the design department under a media group. 中間佢去咗北京做咗2年野先來Monash讀書，然後7月啱啱畢業，仲穩緊工。每每同人講起我穏工既經歷，都會受到好多人艶羨既目光。我都相信係神既保守，但係要知道人唔係一世都咁好彩，每一條路都係崎嶇不平，所以你會有高有低，更加領略度係高山上望番落來既感覺。我感恩係神都令我順利完成我碩士既學位，順利穩度工縱然我都失去咗一D野。前邊究竟係咪可以一條直路，我唔知，我只係知我要拖住祂既手行落去。人大過，越來越少傾度偈既人，20歲既青蔥歲月天真爛漫都原來已經喺幾年前既事，但係友情好珍貴，彼此守護住……
夜晚上機，落機，番度屋企unpack，第二日又要開始番工，重新我既朝9晚5，心情好似仲未調整度喔><!!!
星期二，番工，忙，忙，忙。晚黑送S機，討厭送機，喺Sydney唔係送過好多次，不過每次都係啱啱同呢D人建立關係佢哋就走自己留低，果種感覺真係唔好受。好開心喺呢4個月裏邊識度妳，我哋分享相同既經歷，將心比心。我哋都一個人行得攰咗啦，有點儿寂寞，身邊無特別瞭解自己既密友。其實由開始識妳，陪妳喺service坐, service之後傾偈，平時出來食飯傾偈，唔係單單妳多謝我，我都要多謝妳令度我多個朋友，多個人講野，所以一D都唔係妳張card度冩既“對你毫不重要既事情”，我都覺得好有意義嘎！我希望妳要對神有信心，努力生活，唔捨得既話隨時可以webcam啊嘛，哈哈～
星期三，番工仍然係好忙，無時間食lunch，赶month-end report，無心情講野，玩自閉，如果唔係TM講既笑話，我唸成日我都無表情，多謝Xbox... October 01 Melbourne HolidayBack home already 9pm and had noodle for dinner, glad that the problem have been solved by ho tze mui, thank you.
Will be away for the Labour Day long weekend, departing Sydney at 6.20pm on Friday Oct 2nd and coming back at 8.10pm on Monday Oct 5th. Hope I will enjoy the trip la... September 24 Home Sweet HomeYesterday morning, Sydneysiders have woken to a red haze, it's turned from red to orange and faded to yellow. It's quite extraordinary which many people have never seen this all their life, which include me. The thick dust storm made the cars on the road all have a brownish cover. People walking on the street were wearing mask. Even the seats on the train were dusty too.
When I got to the office, I was thinking whether my flight to Melbourne tonight would be able to make it. Therefore I have been checking the Sydney Airport websites constantly. A lot of international and domestic flights were diverted as Sydney airport has closed two runways out of three.
Thank God that the flight was delayed for an hour, but not cancelled; safely landed at the airport around 10ish and got on a cab withouting queuing too long at the Taxi rank; got to the motel at 11 and had a good rest; enjoyed a big breaky that would give me the energy to work; after the training when heading back to the airport, there's a chance of missing the flight because of the bad traffic on the highway, I'm still managed to board and come back to Sydney.
What a journey... September 21 祂是聽禱告的神過去呢個禮拜實在有好多野要去感恩，當我去執筆冩低既時候，我要再多謝我天上既阿爸父。
上個禮拜日，Sydney突然高溫度31度，我朝早臨急臨忙出去唔記得shut down部laptop就出咗去。教會完咗committee開會，眨下眼已經9月，又度一年一度選舉既時候。仲記得上年呢個時候，Kevin approach我做文書財政呢個崗位既時候，我當時仲處于一個水深火熱既時刻：我啱啱畢業要穏工，如果穩度工我就可以留低。但係其實far before Kevin穩我既時候，我已經有感動去參選關顧呢個職位。所以我都祈禱，如果呢個係神既心意，願意成全我既話，就賜我一份合適既工作，以致我可以更加好哋服事祂。好奇妙哋，喺補選既果個禮拜日之前一個禮拜，我就有job offer。好歡欣哋我就做咗關顧，亦喺呢一年裏邊同主內弟兄姊妹互相配搭，一齊同工，經歷神果份充充足足既恩典。因爲呢個崗位，原本內向怕羞，唔善于同人溝通既我可以變得主動同人傾偈，好容易哋就拉近人與人之間既距離，亦讓我識度新朋友。喺彼此認識既過程裏邊，又建立度友誼，去分享我哋既人生，更加感恩既係決志信主。呢一切唔係靠著我既能力可以做度，所以我哋既主真係一個行奇事顯神蹟既神。當我聽度有姊妹想做下年既關顧既時候，我當然會開心因爲佢有負擔去照顧呢個團契，當然我都有D落寞，因爲一年時間雖然推行咗祈禱伴侶、開創咗星期六團契、成功舉辦咗運動會，其實可以做既仲有好多。不過，就算我唔係呢個崗位都唔代表我會停止關心新朋友嘎，我個心唔會變囉。好老實講，其他崗位自己唔係太有負擔，亦無信心會做得好。上年我係好清楚神既心意，今年我覺得我既崗位好似唔係喺職員會，所以我會繼續祈禱而唔會倉促參選囉。散會後同其他人去分享，都繼續喺頭腦度思考呢個問題。
4點幾番度屋企，好攰，唸住訓陣先啦，又無理度部電腦。足之，6點幾醒咗，想上網啦，掂一掂部機就自動熄咗，連電源燈都無著，今次大鑊。我再禁個power，無反映。我拆咗夠電池出來，又唔得。再擺番入去，都係唔得。就咁玩完，勁灰。我將電腦收咗入電腦袋。
星期一番工，衆人紛紛俾意見我，睇來最坏既打算可能係要送番去原廠修理。成日番工都囉囉攣。放工，再打電話問一IT弟兄，佢好直接就話佢都幫我唔度。番度屋企，我將電腦從電腦袋攞出來，用手抱住，低頭祈禱：神啊，你深知我既心思意念，我如果無電腦用會好唔方便啊，亦都無時間去為呢樣野去擔憂。求袮挪走呢個重擔，令度電腦可以開得機啦，阿門。然後我憑信心禁個power button，超乎想像既電腦就“活”過來，用得番啦。當然我唔排除呢D機器既野可能放番個兩三日就會乜事都無，但係邊個可以擔保一D事都無呢？！已經唔係第一次發生，神一直都聽我禱告，要我憑信心求，感謝神。
禮拜三晚同咗教牧同工食飯，雖然收度佢email既時候有D受寵若驚，不過好明顯我既擔心係多餘既。只係閑話家常，彼此認識。不過佢分享既時候，佢問咗一個問題我從來都無唸過：“咁你屬靈裏邊有無特別好既弟兄姊妹？其實好仲要嘎。”Sophie同Nelson係我最close既基督徒couple，我唸Sophie係我來Sydney之後呢幾年俾度我最多安慰同鼓勵既姊妹，我哋會彼此代禱去分享，甚至彼此認罪。喺我最傷心既時候佢關心我，雖然而傢我哋喺唔同教會，而佢又啱啱做咗媽咪，但係我哋依然會彼此守望。同Nelson都有傾事奉既，不過又唔算特別好啊，就好似屬靈長者果種feel。唔通弟兄俾既advise會唔同D……
星期五既栽培，透過唔同既生命去睇度神袮既工，我唸有好多基督徒佢哋都做緊播種既工作，千祈唔好灰心，因為將來收種既時候果份喜悅係好大，係會令身邊好多人感染度，實在係好感恩嘎。
星期六晚係教會既中秋晚會，同新朋友傾偈令我忘記聽日喺好凝重既政綱分享大組。不過，都有內部人士按耐不住，過來問我點解無交申請表，呵呵。足之星期日既大組之後，又俾人問點解唔參選，多謝你哋啊去關心我，亦多謝果D爲我代禱既你哋。我既身心都屬神，我會繼續事奉祂，無論神要我喺邊一個崗位、邊一個地方，I love you Lord~
September 09 Park Jae Beom quits 2PM!I was so shocked today when I read the news on Popseoul! Can't believe it's happening ><!!!
It's all because of the comment Jae Beom left on MySpace in 2005 when he's a trainee. He's an American born Korean and returned to Korea for his music dream when he's a high school student. When we were young and been to a country that we couldn't speak the language nor adapt the culture, for sure it's a difficult period. He expressed his bad feelings about Korea which I can totally understand. However, as he's a public figure now, the netizen caught him and caused such a storm in the Korean society.
After his lengthy apology on the 5th, 2PM's schedules have all been cancelled since then, at 12 noon on the 8th, he has made an official statement that he's resigning from 2PM, at 6.30 in the evening, he's departing from Seoul return to Seattle to stay with his family.
I am not a big fan of 2PM nor Jae Beom (though the group is a bit different from the other boy groups and he's cute), it's just how could people do such terrible things to a 22-year-old boy! It's very sad, he's a talented kid and a good leader to the group. In my opinion, there's no need to resign for taking the responsibility of the past., that's too much. The netizen are far too crazy in Korea and probably that's why so many Korean artists commit to suicide. It's just wrong and unfair, the media, the entertainment industry and the Korean society. A lot of young kids have been trained since young, they worked so hard to have the opportunity to debut and haven't mentioned the long-life contract. Unfortunately public opinion could kill them all.
2PM is not even 1-year-old since debuted, on top of TVXQ's disband rumor earlier, not a very happy Kpop year ><!!! September 07 Celebrate ^.<今日我無番工，請咗假去考車牌。11點既考試，我早早10點就去度再實習實習路綫。個天好陰，仲開始落細雨。雖然信心唔係好大，考試過程都好震，泊位又有瑕疵，不過都俾我一次就順利過關，攞度Full Licence, 超開心，感謝神，讓我經歷祂の平安。多謝你哋戥我開心，thank you all~
我亦都終于將呢件拖咗幾年應該做又無做既事做咗，有所交代。媽咪成日都話我係猪油糕，咩都拖，唔度最後關頭、逼度埋身都唔的起心肝做，或者呢様野真係要改改@@... 但係就係越緊張越到deadline，我就越有不成仁便成義既决心。以前讀書交essay果時就係咁，發咗question落來，穩晒reference都係要拖度最後幾日先開始冩，因爲太早我真係冩唔出，唔好以爲咁樣赶頭赶命成績會差過果D用咗好多時間提前寫好既人啊，而事實證明係good嘎，仲好高分添。Anyway，九月第一個task is accomplished. Let's move on la...
番度屋企我終于開始執番我間房，洗衫吸塵抹臺。地氊上邊有無數咁多條頭髮，而張書臺就積晒塵同堆滿雜七雜八の紙。人都係有懶筋，懶開有癮。以前我個個禮拜六搞衛生，而傢就因為一至六都番工，日又番教會，早出晚歸既生活令度我番度來都唔想做啦。不過，個環境乾淨企理番真係令人擴然開朗。一路搞衛生，我一路聽電臺。好耐都無開過FM985，發現原來D節目好唔同，DJ都好多唔識。令我更加驚訝既係我中學果陣勁追既節目《好好先生》仲做緊，只不過唔喺FM1027而係去咗第度。舊人仲做緊DJ，同時有好多23、4歲既新DJ，原來呢個行業可以更新得咁快。不過唔知而傢D中學生應該唔會好似我以前咁夜晚哩喺被竇偷聽節目，我仲會錄低喺卡帶添，呵呵。
原來唔番工既一日可以咁唔同，聽住蔡健雅既新專輯《若你碰到他》讓我思考同享受，或者我真係需要每個月都穩咁樣既一日去慢慢渡過，捉住時間...
 September 05 分享生命生命，既活潑又生動，我見度一個一個生命既跳躍，感謝神。
2009.8.30 Sunday 5-9pm 小組gathering 2，我真係好感恩可以喺呢個小組，十分享受我哋冷靜既思考同對答，深入既分享。縱然我哋每人信主既歲月有長有短，由我哋口中講出既經歷更加令我感受度神喺每一個人身上都有祂獨有既計劃。世上有苦難，但係我哋靠著神係可以行過既，我哋越經歷祂就越多磨練，得著既安慰亦越多。同樣哋，我哋既生命亦可以成爲別人既祝福，用同樣既感受去安慰他人。我真係眼淺，每次講起果一段都會控制唔度，證明我絕對唔係冷血無感情既人。
2009.9.1 Tuesday 6.30-10.15pm 同一姊妹SY食飯，發現大家有好多相同之處。同幾年前既我一樣，佢經歷緊好多，一切都變得咁突然，令佢接受唔度，不過令佢更加相信呢個世界只有神係永恒不變，令佢有平安。感動佢對友情既重視，對愛情既執著，對家人既關愛。雖然佢話佢份人都好惊惊青青，不過我一直都唔懷疑佢果份超齡既成熟同愛神既心。其實有乜野講出來係會解决到好多野，至閉有D人唔肯講出來擺喺心度，又喺背後埋怨，實在係傷害友情。原來一味既附和，屈就自己去迎合對方，係會令自己好辛苦，有一日都係會爆炸嘎。我哋要一齊努力啊，唔好放弃，基督徒，基督徒，一定要基督徒，哈哈！
2009.9.2 Wednesday AM 收度一封email，係做過一年高一同學既佢話我知佢10月要去德國讀研究生，我其實戥佢開心，因爲知佢做野做得好辛苦，或者佢自己都終于知攰所以想去休息。好奇妙，原來我哋識果陣先1999年，而家就2009年。時間真係過得快，我哋都行咗唔同既路，唔喺同一個地方生活同工作，但係原來人同人之間既關係并唔會因爲地域同時間而改變，我哋仍然會互相關心對方，曾經，我哋都年輕過，少男少女既心事今日講番會唔會好可笑。
好期待再相遇…… August 14 恨鐵不成鋼I have been experiencing some heartbeat problems at the beginning of this week, maybe it's due to the stress at work, commencement of CPA studies, the changing weather and the relationship with human beings.
God is great that he sends me all the angels around me, such as my group members to update everyone's prayer points. The amazing thing is which I am really feeling better as a result of their prayers. HE has strengthen my body and soul which I have the energy to handle everything.
However, there's still something bothering me deeply in my heart. As brothers and sisters, I don't want to be critical or too harsh on them. If you have been a christian for so long, will you ever forget how Jesus loves his people? Love is the most important, though it seems difficult for some of us to put in practice. When new comers have been invited to an event, do you go and introduce yourself then make a conversation with them? When the event is finished, especially such as a camp which lasts for 3 days, do you ask their contact details which you can keep in touch with them? Before you see them again, do you email/msn/call them in the mean time？When you are seeing them for the second time, do you feel more familiar with them compare to the first time? Do you really care how they feel when they come to church? I am not asking everyone to sacrifice much but those little things counts. We may all just need some reminders as our memories are in short-term manner.
I finally understand what does 恨鐵不成鋼 mean, for some old christians they are not necessarily more mature than the young christians. I pray for their hearts that could be changed so that they could be used by God to broaden HIS kingdom. July 27 Moody because of...2009.7.24 -7.26 Friday - Sunday, Vision Valley, 迷圖Ecamp
 今年係我第二次去CPCCSF Ecamp，有個好美善の目的亦不斷為呢樣野去祈禱，好感恩我哋由朋友變爲主內姊妹。我誠然唔係好識安慰人但係我哋share相同既境况，我可以靠神呢幾年一路行過來，我相信你都可以。There's something called put yourself into the others' shoes, 好難相信5年前果個情緒崩潰既人，果3個月每晚都喊，唔知聽日點算，屋企人又唔喺身邊，所有計劃都落空，唔可以一齊，唔可以留低做野，唔可以申請去澳洲讀書，唔知點算既我可以用我過去呢段經歷去安慰今日喺苦境既你。人大個啦，唔可以隨隨便便喺人哋面前喊，只係希望有人去聆聽，而呢個人真係明你既感受，而唔係敷淺你，答“哦，恩，啊”，我好慶幸我可以成爲你身邊既呢個人，呢個朋友。
當我去聽你既故事，我見度自己既影子，或者我哋呢一代人注定係漂泊，細細個就獨立靠自己，堅强既外表入邊其實都係有一個脆弱既心。因爲下邊仲有細佬妹，所以我哋要做一個榜樣，照顧佢哋即使佢哋係問題邊緣人。如果你有一個幸福美滿既家庭，由細度大都好陽光去成長，你要去感恩。我相信萬事都係互相效力，所以我哋既經歷將來可以去明白同樣經歷緊既人，縱然呢段人生會有陰影既時候。果段最難捱既時候我會睇番約瑟都喺監獄度7年先重見光明，約伯親人家業咩都無曬都依然相信神，默默地去渡過一定會有轉機。
喺camp除咗新朋友仲有弟兄姊妹。其實我哋都需要被人接納，"Open your hearts to one another as Christ opened His heart to you", 我哋真係要有相愛既心，好sad見度姊妹同姊妹之間既唔開心，弟兄同弟兄之間既嫌隙，神唔係講過喺你去敬拜祂之先要先去同弟兄姊妹和好，放低心中既梁木咩？去學習愛人我唸真係神俾我哋一生既功課，因爲呢條係誡命既第一條。我都明果種唔belong to既感覺，由年頭就萌生此意既我度咗而傢竟然發現我唔係唯一一個，都唔知係開心好定唔開心好。不過我相信神係用我做另一個見證囉，因爲我都係咁樣行過來所以我會安慰度妳，亦希望時間可以改變呢個好灰既feeling。我哋呢個大家庭可能真係會忽略咗一D人，但係我以caring大使之名保證，我會喺我力所能及既範圍內關心度每一個人，no matter how much time I need to spend on this, or how much money to spend on dining, haha...
I wrote a prayer here last year, it's still relevant to the situation we are in at the moment, so I will rewrite:
主啊，我愛你，爲你我願意放低一切伸冤既權力。我求主聖靈幫助我挪去所有攔阻我唔能單單要主既人、事、物，我真心祈求神賜俾我能够有一顆單純要主既心。我需要你主，因爲環境太過艱難，信心太過渺小，我需要袮引導我經過死蔭既幽谷。聖靈，教導我學會定睛仰望耶穌，幫助我真實經歷阿爸父既愛。我既安全感唔應該建立喺外在環境，聖靈，求袮帶我入靈裏既深處，得平安、喜樂、愛、自由同豐盛。慈愛既天父，求袮幫助孩子，讓我謙卑順服喺袮既旨意當中，成就袮所成就既，阿門。 July 09 门当户对又算什么
最近关颖出左本书 叫《上流感》除左披露上流社会一D富豪包明星等花边之事，亦带过自己既几段感情， 再一次验证到呢个千金小姐系一个敢爱敢恨、非常有自己想法既人。
第一次见度关颖系因为同郭品超做既偷天换日，跟住又有上大S同小S一齐做既“大小爱吃”就知道呢个女艺人唔系普通人既家世，至于前排既作品《心星的泪光》觉得个型同以前差唔多，无乜变化。不过网络上对呢本书既评语同节录令我有D兴趣去书局逛逛，不过唔知呢边有无甘快运到来呢。
喜欢自在和相爱的人交往，对于上流社会要门当户对既规则，关颖答“两个相近的灵魂在一起，这才是我真正认为的门当户对。”系美国纽约读书交往7年既人系今生唯一接近门当户对既，不过都系分手收场，而同一D外界一致不看好既人交往更加证明我行我素，唔理他人目光，只追求属于自己既幸福。
讲既容易，做既难。当我地18岁爱得死去活来，其实对方唔一定系最适合生活一世既人。到左25岁，更加慎重交往对象系咪值得托付，两个家庭系咪能够彼此沟通，受到屋企人同身边友人既祝福。我只系希望可以舒舒服服去恋爱，稳度一个喜乐、令我一辈子快乐既人，同理，能够令我快乐应该都会令我既家人快乐既，要对自己有信心有规划，无论你处于人生边一个阶段都深信神系有带领，掌管你生命既父。
《我们结婚了Season 2》见度静茵同勇俊拍拖3年，男既再无花心思系event，女既非常唔like勇俊既朋友，更加好笑既系连求婚都无咩特别，真系心都淡，或者都见度你同我之间既影子，身边朋友既影子。不过主持都讲左句好中肯既说话，而家求婚来来去去都系果D，一定要创新又真系几难。不过如果你有心，我相信都唔难做度既，并唔系唱情歌先冧度人嘎。到左婚前要做既检查呢个环节，第一样系资金状况。哈哈哈，个男既有10几本存折、几只基金而个女既存折就只有几百蚊。之后就去地产中介稳屋，又想住大屋，又要有view，又要系双方家长中间既地段，仲要系住得好D定去好D既蜜月旅行之间选择，头都大晒。跟住要去精神科会诊，其实应该系婚前辅导，检查双方性格差异啊甘。个男仔有个差10岁既妹，所以细细个就学识照顾人，系妈妈度学得理财既观念等。相反个女仔，上有差8岁同10岁既哥哥，屋企人都宠呢个公主更是不在话下。所以两个人其实好互补，所以嗌交都在所难免，因为expectation唔同。然后个医生就叫距地重演翻平时嗌交既情景不过将自己代入对方既角色，第一个情景系个女仔揸唔定主意，一阵话去食pizza，又话去食ice cream，跟住去度又话唔食，两个人就言语上重重伤害对方；第二个情景系男仔要去同D哥们去饮酒，女仔话唔好去，男仔话你又陪唔度我点解唔去得，女仔话甘之后你陪我唔度我就稳其他男既陪我，得唔得啊，其实就系互相试探对方究竟系咪我最重要。第三个情景系，女仔叫男仔唔好食甘多烟，扮出来个样真系好好笑。Anyway，下一集系讲度双方家长见面，紧张紧张啦～
特别为果D正处于屋企人对于交往对象唔首肯既女友们，千万唔好灰心，因为父母都系紧张你地，希望你地过得好，而你系知道自己要乜，两个人系向住同一个目标前进既，我相信冰山都会俾你地劈开既！会继续为你地祈祷，希望你地系工作上都顺利，唔好受甘多气翻度屋企仲要俾人日蛾夜蛾啦，哈哈哈哈。 |
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