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October 25 Joy of Rainbow已經夜訓嘎拉，1點幾先上床，flatmate仲要5點番來吵醒咗，Yano話我個様勁攰，隻眼超腫。個人已經心情唔好，躁咗，喺對人處事度又做錯咗小小，小組查經又唔專心。
不過唸番尋日同Anita傾偈，同Claire分享，我覺得又有另一番感受。會繼續為妳哋代禱，因爲係我過去呢個禮拜最感恩既事。雖然我第一次同你講我既神，亦知道你而家工作好唔滿足同厭倦，但係你要撐住啊，用D時間去唸下消化下我同你講既“關係”，多謝你問“我可以點様做”呢個問題，我覺得已經係一個好既開始。Claire既細路仔，其實我暫時無喔反而，不過好認同你既A List, it's so true that we actually have done all these: go to cafe alone, go to supermarket and do the groceries alone, travel alone, go shopping alone, and the worst - taking care of ourselves when we are sick. And I will probably challenge your 'go to cinema' alone one day, haha... Maybe this week after my CPA exam, haha...
今日完咗service落大雨，番度屋企訓醒一覺就停咗。聽咗一首好應景既歌，Joy of Rainbow:
Look at the sky when the rain has stopped
I will be dancing on rainbow tops
You'll see me smile as I 'm waving at you
And I'll send my love and wishes too.
Pray for the courage to carry on
Living each day for the will of God
Until that day when I'll hold you again
And we'll dance forever more
October 20 變本加厲Experiencing the old symptoms this week, it's even worse today... Difficult to breath, lethargy, stomache... Luckily I could escape from the office around lunch time and have some fresh air by the bay. And there're primary school kids playing around which the noise made me awake...
October 19 這兩週還記得10月10我哋團契大部分人去咗Canberra一日游，雖然好早起身出發，不過天氣好好。我哋除咗睇花展，仲去咗國會議院同戰爭博物館。喺巴士度都有同屬靈長者傾度呢幾年一直困擾自己の一樣野，雖然講咗唔見得就即刻唔會唔開心，不過贈送我一句“一日既憂慮一日擔當就夠了”要我記住同實踐。其實極力控制自己既情緒，免得有人發現，但係都係俾人發現咗，仲開我玩笑“有心事要同哥哥講啊”讓我會心一笑。望住咁多唔同顔色既鬱金香，實在令我豁然開朗。回程既時候，捱住眼訓傾偈。原來我哋有咁多既相同，Long Distance、同父母既相處、同bf/gf既溝通，唔知道係咪神要你哋咁行，但係都一定會為你哋祈禱。誠然，信心真係一個好難學既功課。
跟住禮拜日大組選舉完分享，其實Iva分享既時候我就知佢會點我。終于，我就忍唔住哋感動不已。話咁快就一年，仲記得上年呢個時候我仲躊躇緊選committee，為呢件事祈禱，神親自預備一份工作俾我令我可以留低事奉，喺呢一年裏邊同full-team既弟兄姊妹一齊事奉互相配搭，學度好多亦喺屬靈上更加努力追求。神可以令我走出自己既框框，主動同新朋友溝通，更加賜俾我一個好朋友而佢亦都决志信主，身邊既弟兄姊妹不斷鼓勵我，其實呢一切都好感恩。傷感既係建立咗既關係無幾耐，就會分開，每年如是，神究竟要鍛煉我幾次，一個，兩個，三個，四個五個？我同Iva prayer partner既時候，佢唔識安慰我，但係其實就好似約伯既三個朋友一樣，喺約伯身體一有病既時候佢哋就已經來度佢身邊陪佢，我覺得果種都係一種安慰。分享完，有Cathy問我仲乜咁感動，Felix亦拍拍我脖頭，Yano既關心，Evan既msn，我覺得我好幸福，呢班弟兄姊妹好好，小朋友每個都好可愛，我身邊有好多既天使。因爲畢竟都要自己去面對，要緊緊抓住神既手去行過，因爲祂會永遠喺度陪我。孤單并唔好受，我哋需要朋友既扶持，更加神應許會永遠與我哋同在，必信實到底。喺靈修同埋同Sophie email既時候都提醒我，感謝神。
過去呢個禮拜我忙緊一份做俾Director既report，忙緊自己PR既lodgement，努力為來緊既CPA考試溫書。每晚都1點幾訓7點半起身，嚴重睡眠不足，食無定時，壓力大之下作嘔咗幾日，終于禮拜四做咗presentation，星期三晚/星期四凌晨遞交申請同上傳咗所有既材料，可以松一口氣。事情總係一樣接住一樣，從無停歇過；精神永遠都緊繃，好惊有一日呢條彈弓會斷，但係又知道唔可以斷，矛盾。
今日Heidi Siu洗禮，戥佢開心，而我自己都had some fun, enjoy Sunday so much with the crowd, laughters and sharings! 去飲茶既時候坐Felix車已經笑爆，然後飲茶既時候又係超好笑，如果每日都係Sunday就好啦！飲完茶之後邊行邊講，好耐無同Cathy行街傾偈，都唔記得上次我哋行Myer喺幾時囉。講既內容就confidential，不過暫且靜觀其變，唔好唸太多啦～
Last but not least, CPA exam is on Tuesday, Oct 27th, less than 10 days to go, fighting!~ 不過IRIS真係好好睇，有金泰熙同李秉憲，仲有TOP
   October 07 Melbourian getaway過去の呢個long weekend我一個人飛咗去隔離省，出咗新南威爾士度咗維多利亞。都好感恩，因爲星期五晚boarding既時候Sydney開始落大雨，機場管制仲話thunderstone所以唔能够起飛，喺飛機上邊等咗半個鍾。去度Melbourne都只係大風，無落過雨，然後星期一晚番來，Sydney仲係落雨娓娓。
星期五晚好順利哋去酒店check-in，間房好的色，不過一出去就有city tram所以好方便。同媽咪報平安既時候Silky sms問我度咗未，後尾打番俾佢，原來佢今日去咗Hunter Valley玩。雖然呢個trip係我6月就plan，但係S仲有幾日就走，所以其實都會miss咗同佢最後喺Sydney既時間><!!!
星期六8點幾就俾電話吵醒，所以9點幾就出咗去食早餐。然後兜下個city，周圍行下。去咗The Ian Potter Centre, ACMI, Fed Square, State Library. 個city好重文化既味道，好多garden，D建築又好有特色，同埋感覺上好似無咁多華人。2點幾約咗Yol食飯，發現真係原來有好多christians讀完大學，出來做野，都會覺得其實自己揀錯科，想穩過第份工。每日番工面對既人，做既routine令度佢哋會麻木，所以其實讀theology或者穩full time ministry真係會適合D。呢個外在既環境不斷變，而我哋既信心亦會不同程度哋受度衝擊。有好多野想靠自己能力去改變，但係究竟係咪HIS way呢？會逐漸對身邊既b&s失去信心，會多咗埋怨同急躁，少咗包容同忍耐。5點幾既時候，經過City Museum,church同garden，都有新人結婚，今日真係好日啦，我唸國慶呢個假期都會好多人揀來結婚。婚姻係如此神聖，但係而傢就有好多人因爲有咗而結婚，因爲年紀夠大就結婚。其實以前盲婚啞嫁都可以work out，咁我係咪可以代入呢個公式呢？每個人表達既方式都好唔同，要穩度一個明白你既真係一D都唔容易。
星期日book咗個The Great Ocean Road and Soverign Hill既day tour，朝早8點喺唐人街出發。去金礦果度有D似曾相識既感覺，可能以前喺NZ都去過類似既，不過物是人非。係啊，以前去玩都唔係一個人既，今次真係有D特別。Try not to think about the old days but it seems impossible. Time flies, it's been 3 years since the last trip. I am asking myself whether I have moved on. What I have been doing these years? Is it really worth it? What if I didn't make that decision, what if everything comes in my way at the right time? Sorry, there's no if... The sky is so blue that my mood is a bit blue as well... Congra Melbourne Storms, champagne is on the way, cheers~
星期一因爲要check-out，所以拖住疲憊既身軀早早起身pack野，然後寄存D袋就出去轉。Melbounre向來天氣都會好miserable，不過呢幾日都好好天，當然穩度就真係低幾度。我搭Shuttle轉咗一圈，去咗NGV International, Arts Centre, Melbourne University. 同Michelle自從04年喺Christchurch畢業禮之後差唔多5年唔見，大家都無點變，變既只係身份。She just got married, her husband is an artist and working in the design department under a media group. 中間佢去咗北京做咗2年野先來Monash讀書，然後7月啱啱畢業，仲穩緊工。每每同人講起我穏工既經歷，都會受到好多人艶羨既目光。我都相信係神既保守，但係要知道人唔係一世都咁好彩，每一條路都係崎嶇不平，所以你會有高有低，更加領略度係高山上望番落來既感覺。我感恩係神都令我順利完成我碩士既學位，順利穩度工縱然我都失去咗一D野。前邊究竟係咪可以一條直路，我唔知，我只係知我要拖住祂既手行落去。人大過，越來越少傾度偈既人，20歲既青蔥歲月天真爛漫都原來已經喺幾年前既事，但係友情好珍貴，彼此守護住……
夜晚上機，落機，番度屋企unpack，第二日又要開始番工，重新我既朝9晚5，心情好似仲未調整度喔><!!!
星期二，番工，忙，忙，忙。晚黑送S機，討厭送機，喺Sydney唔係送過好多次，不過每次都係啱啱同呢D人建立關係佢哋就走自己留低，果種感覺真係唔好受。好開心喺呢4個月裏邊識度妳，我哋分享相同既經歷，將心比心。我哋都一個人行得攰咗啦，有點儿寂寞，身邊無特別瞭解自己既密友。其實由開始識妳，陪妳喺service坐, service之後傾偈，平時出來食飯傾偈，唔係單單妳多謝我，我都要多謝妳令度我多個朋友，多個人講野，所以一D都唔係妳張card度冩既“對你毫不重要既事情”，我都覺得好有意義嘎！我希望妳要對神有信心，努力生活，唔捨得既話隨時可以webcam啊嘛，哈哈～
星期三，番工仍然係好忙，無時間食lunch，赶month-end report，無心情講野，玩自閉，如果唔係TM講既笑話，我唸成日我都無表情，多謝Xbox... October 01 Melbourne HolidayBack home already 9pm and had noodle for dinner, glad that the problem have been solved by ho tze mui, thank you.
Will be away for the Labour Day long weekend, departing Sydney at 6.20pm on Friday Oct 2nd and coming back at 8.10pm on Monday Oct 5th. Hope I will enjoy the trip la... |
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